Not Wanting to Pray

Issue: relationship with a person from church
Problem: I dislike myself for having this problem with this person so much that I just don't want to pray about it!

Comments: It's times like this where I get so frustrated with myself. I want the situation to improve, but I just want to avoid it, so I don't even bother to pray about it. I know that in those times where I don't want to pray about something, or I just don't feel like praying, I REALLY REALLY need to pray. Why is it so hard for me just to pray?

Jehovah Jireh

Can I just say how amazing God is? GOD IS AMAZING! He is the ultimate provider. He has already provided me with an answer to pray, and despite my constant unbelief, He is always doing this for me. Lord, help my unbelief.

That's the short version. Here's the story that led up to this:

For many years now, I have wanted to participate in a prestigious program called JET (Japan Exchange Teaching), where I would travel to Japan as an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT) and provide insight in culture, pronunciation, accent etc to Japanese school children. This is important to me, as I would have the opportunity to explore my racial heritage, learn some Japanese, experience independence, save some money to pay off student loans, and get classroom experience for my teaching program at SFU.

The deadline for the application forms is end of November, and I need at least one university professor to provide a letter of reference with my expected date of graduation. However, the professor I was going to approach is on Maternity Leave (congratulations), and I didn't feel that any of the other professors I have (or have had) would be able to provide the reference letter needed.

Anyway, major stress last night and this morning as I'm thinking about this. I also hadn't finished my homework, double ouch! I decided to skip my morning class in order to finish my homework, see the academic advisor, and pray about it. Actually, I was praying about this on the bus all the way to SFU.

I had to keep on reminding myself that God is Provider; He knows who would be able to help me; I have to make God THE plan in my life, not a back-up plan (which is something I recently realised I was doing).

I get to SFU, see the academic advisor (another praise item: I AM DEFINATELY DONE AFTER SPRING 2009!!!!!!!), and I was reading some of the comics a professor had posted on their door, when one of my current professors sees me, and we begin to talk. Turns out, her daughter has done the JET programme, and she would LOVE to do a reference letter for me! I had honestly not thought that this professor would be willing to do this for me (especially since JET is so specific about what they want...picky picky). PRAISE GOD!

The Lord is amazing. I pray that I never forget this moment of realisation of how great, mighty and loving God is, not matter how the application pans out.

Thank you God. I do not doubt you to be Jehovah Jireh.