Starting the Day with Prayer

Last night I was with my small group (you are all such a blessing by the way) and we mentioned worry, anxiety and quiet times with God.  I shared that I had been remiss in my quiet times for months, mainly because of my crazy schedule, especially the 4:15am shifts.  I want to do my quiet times before I start my day, but when the day starts that early for me, it's difficult to get up even a few moments earlier.

So this morning, I found myself waiting in the car for the other barista to arrive at 4:08am, and realised that I could use that time to at least pray.  So I did.  I knew who I was scheduled to work with, and I have some difficulties holding onto a cheerful attitude with that person, so I really focussed on that, and for an overall smooth day.

Then, it's 4:15, and the other person still hasn't arrived.  I head in, and discover, hey, it's not the person I thought it was, and so I call them and they arrive a couple minutes late.  No biggie, but still fun to tease them about.  Still, it throws off the day a little bit.  Not a pothole, but rather a rough patch.

Then, it's 4:30, and the person scheduled to start at 7am calls in sick.  Ugh.  I hate dealing with sick calls.  There is a lot of grovelling involved, and I hate that.  I really hate waking people up.  I decided not to deal with it right away.

At 5, a young woman comes in, and introduces herself as the borrowed partner that had been scheduled.  Cool.  Shen turns out to be pretty cool too.  And competent.  Even better.

Then at 5:20, another young woman comes in, and introduces herself as the borrowed partner that had been scheduled.  Huh?  I tell her that someone else has already come in, but would she be willing to start at 7?  No, but I offer her the hours (ie to do the shift she was supposed to).  She takes them, and we are good to go!  The sick shift is covered!  Woohoo!  And she turns our to be pretty cool as well!  And competent!  AWESOME!

What an answer to prayer that the day would run smoothly!  It did, and how cool, and awesome, and wonderful, and provisionary that God would have two girls show up on the day where I was completely not in the mood to deal with a sick call, and grovel.

I realise that starting every day with prayer is not going to result in a perfect, or wonderful day, but it was still super cool that it happened today.  I am very grateful.

To Catch Up...

Here are some things that I wish to share with you, and while they may seem unconnected, they all had some sort of root in my day today...

-My favourite sandwich is plain cream cheese, cucumber and pepper on whole wheat or flax bread.
-My new favourite colour, in addition to green and white, is yellow. (But not that awful mustard yellow)
-I miss Hawai'i, the heat and the tan that goes along with that particular US state.
-I think my fashion-forward friends would be quite happy with me today
-I had a shopping trip with my mother today, and we got along! No fight, no arguments, and that continued into the rest of the day.
-I am amazed that there are only 22 days left until my sister leaves for a 62-day trip to Europe.
-I am completely done my Bach. Arts. DONE! I handed in my last paper, and I don't have any exams!
-I am really looking forward to the Convocation Ceremony on June 4th.
-I most definitely want to go karaoke-ing with some friends soon.
-When I find out about JET, I will most definitely will NOT be announcing it on Facebook.
-The end of this semester was one of the best ever. Last class was in the pub, involved beer, home-made wine and beer, and mead.
-I really enjoy mead.

Update On Life

It's been a while since I last posted, so I thought I'd do a quick update.

I'm currently house-sitting for someone and their demon-cat, who used to love me, but has tried to swipe me five times already (and it's only been three days)!  I have a tiny glass of Pinot Noir by my laptop, and I'm glad it was such a miniscule amount, because it's disgusting.  I really don't know how anyone can drink that!  Too bad I'm cutting my sugar intake, or I'd add some to see what happened.

I have so many news stories buzzing around in my head.  There's one that I've wanted to discuss for so long, but I simply don't have the time to analyse it as well as I would like to before posting about it.  But now I've discovered that the BBC has taken it off their site, I can't find it in my bookmarks AND I've lost the hard copy I had.  It was about the negative effect ambitious parents had on their children....I'm pretty sure it was the BBC...

I cleaned my room for the first time in about two years.  And I took pictures to prove it.  A Before-and-After moment (hours!) if you will.  But now the camera is lost!

I've been working on a paper for my Beowulf class.  I really appreciate having this as my only class.  I wouldn't be able to handle another class with all the working I've been doing.

I still haven't heard anything from JET.  That won't be until sometime in April.  Which is really hard because a friend and I are trying to plan a trip to celebrate our graduation from Uni.  My worry and anxiety has gotten really bad.  However, I did recognise the problem, and through the grace and promises of God, I am worrying a lot less about it.  I'm also not thinking about it.  I actually went through the Bible and wrote down verses that seemed applicable to me.  I wrote them down on sticky-notes and put them on the dresser by my bed, so that they are the first thing I see when I pry open my eyes.  And then I made a set of verses for my purse, and another for my car.  I'll read those ones when I'm having a bout of anxiety.

I'm really clinging to God's promises right now.  So many people told me that whatever happens, happens for the best or better.  I KNOW that!  I've heard it so many times!  BUT, another friend put it a different way that really stuck with me.  If God doesn't put you in the program, it's because His plan for you is THAT much better.

It's amazing how simply changing the wording can really get one's attention.  In this case, my friend made God the subject of the sentance, and that makes all the difference, doesn't it?

And that's the way we should be living our lives, isn't it?  Because God really is the subject of the story that our lives live out.

Sunshine and Birdsong

Ever since I've come back from my trip to New Zealand, I have moments where I suddenly want nothing more than to be back there, in New Zealand. I'm not certain what triggers these moments, but I'm starting to believe that these moments come when I need to escape/de-stress/a change. One of these moments happened today at work.

It hadn't been a rough day, but I had been worrying about my JET application and imagining the worst-case scenarios (which would make me an emotional wreck if it should occur). I was putting fresh pastries into the pastry case when all of a sudden, all I wanted was to be in New Zealand.

I became so dissatisfied. Here I am stuck, serving coffee to random people who think they need it. I don't think I could stand doing that for another year, should I not get into JET. But then, what else would I do?

Anyway, an hour and some prayers later, I'm standing at the bus stop, still feeling down, but frantically trying to translate 135 lines of Beowulf from Old English into Modern English, when I gradually become aware of the sun shining and warming my face, and of birds singing songs that I only hear in spring. And then, I don't feel down anymore. These things reminded me of the hope that spring represents- the hope I have in Jesus. God knew how down I was feeling, how dissatisfied I was, and how emotional I was. So He sent me what He knew would cheer me in that moment: sunshine and birdsong. He knew this ahead of this day; He knew that I would need it, and so He caused the fog and clouds to vanish, and those birds to choose that particular tree to stop and sing in. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Yes, I will still cry if I don't get into JET, and yes, I still want to live in New Zealand one day, BUT, I have the hope of the plans God has for me and the evidence of his love- both seen through a few "everyday miracles."

To the One who loves me THAT much, Thank You.

Not Wanting to Pray

Issue: relationship with a person from church
Problem: I dislike myself for having this problem with this person so much that I just don't want to pray about it!

Comments: It's times like this where I get so frustrated with myself. I want the situation to improve, but I just want to avoid it, so I don't even bother to pray about it. I know that in those times where I don't want to pray about something, or I just don't feel like praying, I REALLY REALLY need to pray. Why is it so hard for me just to pray?

I am Blessed

I am so Blessed. And I can't be more specific than to say that I am very glad I ignored the world's advice, and my parent's advice, and the raised eyebrows of my friends and became Broke. I am so glad that I did.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

China and Myanmar

Tragedy has dominated the news headlines for the past week and a half, and with good reason. Myanmar (Burma) was hit with a powerful tropical cyclone on May 3, 2008. China's Sichuan region was the epicentre for a 7.8 magnitude earthquake on May 12, 2008.

And I didn't pray. I didn't pray, or even think that I should for Burma until my father suggested we do so as a family last night. China? China's death toll made me silently pray "Please God" while I was at the gym, and I left it at that.

Why did I fail to do the most important thing I could do to help?

Selfishness. An earthquake is more likely to affect me than a tropical cyclone, so I didn't pay attention to Burma. I was also "too busy" and had to focus on "other things" like finishing a game on my laptop when I should have been paying attention in class, checking out guys on the bus, motivating myself to run for just 5 minutes more, etc.

However, I am now paying more attention to Burma than before, and am furious, and weeping. How can the Burmese government have such little respect for their own people? Sin, yes I know, but what they are doing to their people is terrible. Hundreds of countries and organisations immediately offered aid to Burma, and they refused. They do not want outsiders in their country. They are only just beginning to accept food and other supplies, but will not allow aid workers into the country, claiming that their military is able to serve their people sufficiently. Journalists are sneaking into the country to show the world what is going on...and instead of helping people who haven't had any aid delivered to them, military helicopters fly above them searching for foreigners who have snuck in to assess the situation and secretly deliver supplies. Bodies are floating in rice paddies, villages have nothing to eat and contaminated water to drink, and Burma refuses aid. I can't stop crying.

China too is hurting, but their grief is not intermingled with anger towards their goverment for lack of aid. In contrast to Burma, China immediately dispatched aid and is accepting foreign aid as well. Less than 48 hours after the earthquake hit, troops have reached the epicentre of the quake and rescue missions are being conducted. I visited the BBC's 'In Pictures: China's search for survivors' and I began to cry at the fifth picture. And I can't stop crying.

The entire time I have been writing this entry, I have been crying. And I can't get any prayers out to God beyond a cry of desperation and pain for Burma and China. I can't stop crying. Oh God, Oh God, Please Lord

Answer to Doubting Prayer

Another post on the same day! My life must be getting exciting!

My first day back at uni today, and I had one class which ended at 4:30. I planned to go straight to the gym afterwards, but my sister called me, and asked me to come home for dinner as she had made it, and didn't want anyone to miss out (Gnocci! YUM!). I agreed, and decided to head to the gym after dinner.

Dinner comes and goes, leaving me with a rather full stomach, and so I decided to let my stomach settle before going. Departure time was set for 7:30, and I had time to kill, so I decided to do some Internet stuff. As I'm on Facebook, a friend started a chat with me, and I talk with her for quite a while, noticing that time has hit 7:45, and I wasn't ready yet. As I'm about to dash off, another friend starts up a chat, asking me to come over and help her with her Math 12 homework (proving various identities). Of course. I figured that this is why God prevented me from heading to the gym.

I walk over (for a bit of exercise and to save on gas) and we begin. I took Math 12 four years ago, so I'm quite rusty, and usually when I know I'm going to be helping someone, I try to review before heading over to their place. As you can tell, I didn't have to opportunity for that at all.

We quickly discuss what's holding her up, I discover she has a test tomorrow and so we start. ARGH! We can't get the first one! We decide to move on. During the second question I realise we didn't start our sesison with prayer. Ah well, that's ok because we need our brains for math, and God gave us brains... But the second question stumps us! So does the third! So I say out loud, "Please help us Lord," half hoping that He'll answer, and half doubting that He will. It is, after all, just math.

Wouldn't you know it, we prove the statement! Yes! "Thank you Lord!" And then the next one too! "Thank you again Lord!" And then the third one! "Thank you Lord!!!" And then we get to the next and do not solve it. Oh. "Please Lord, will you help us?" After trying two possible ways to prove to equation, my friend asks that this be the last one as her brain is fried. Alright, we will make this our last one. I try one more time, and remember a trick that we can use! "Thank you Lord! We solved it!"

An example of answered prayer, even when I am not convicted that the Lord will answer. Praise God for the ways He works, and when He answers prayer, no matter how doubtful the requester is. I am now praying for success for my friend's math test.

From the flight

I wrote the following on the flight to O'ahu:

Everything has gone pretty smoothly thus far: take-off was pretty smooth, and even the baby is pretty good considering how young she appears to be. There are a couple of children on board. There was an interesting incident in the boarding gate area with one of them. As I’m approaching the boarding agents, a woman came up beside me, and asked a different attendant if getting something that was left outside of the terminal was possible (I don’t know where exactly). She was with a little girl who appeared to be about six or seven years of age, and the girl was clearly crying: hiccoughs, red face, tears and hugging her arms to her body. I had to board, so I couldn’t find out exactly what was happening or what was lost. Then, as almost everyone has been seated, a PA announcement occurs: “We have a beige teddy bear named Theodore here who is looking for his mommy,” and an arm slowly appears with a teddy bear from the front exit door, and the bear waves a paw. There was a chorus of “Aww” and the little girl from before came running up the aisle with a face of longing to be reunited with her dear toy. Her face on the way back was a mixture of joy (what a beautiful smile) and regret for ever having lost him.

This little event will no doubt be remembered by the girl, and her family for a while. For the rest of the passengers, they probably won’t remember this by the end of their vacation. I however, hope I remember it for a long time, because I learned something from it. I found myself thinking about how we long to be reunited with people who we love, or loved and lost, or people we care about who we have never met. In the same way, our soul longs for our Father and Creator, whether we already know and love Him; whether we once knew Him; and whether we never knew Him. Our soul has always known Him, for He created us, and our soul loves Him because He loves us. I long to be in His Presence, and to Know Him personally.