Starting the Day with Prayer

Last night I was with my small group (you are all such a blessing by the way) and we mentioned worry, anxiety and quiet times with God.  I shared that I had been remiss in my quiet times for months, mainly because of my crazy schedule, especially the 4:15am shifts.  I want to do my quiet times before I start my day, but when the day starts that early for me, it's difficult to get up even a few moments earlier.

So this morning, I found myself waiting in the car for the other barista to arrive at 4:08am, and realised that I could use that time to at least pray.  So I did.  I knew who I was scheduled to work with, and I have some difficulties holding onto a cheerful attitude with that person, so I really focussed on that, and for an overall smooth day.

Then, it's 4:15, and the other person still hasn't arrived.  I head in, and discover, hey, it's not the person I thought it was, and so I call them and they arrive a couple minutes late.  No biggie, but still fun to tease them about.  Still, it throws off the day a little bit.  Not a pothole, but rather a rough patch.

Then, it's 4:30, and the person scheduled to start at 7am calls in sick.  Ugh.  I hate dealing with sick calls.  There is a lot of grovelling involved, and I hate that.  I really hate waking people up.  I decided not to deal with it right away.

At 5, a young woman comes in, and introduces herself as the borrowed partner that had been scheduled.  Cool.  Shen turns out to be pretty cool too.  And competent.  Even better.

Then at 5:20, another young woman comes in, and introduces herself as the borrowed partner that had been scheduled.  Huh?  I tell her that someone else has already come in, but would she be willing to start at 7?  No, but I offer her the hours (ie to do the shift she was supposed to).  She takes them, and we are good to go!  The sick shift is covered!  Woohoo!  And she turns our to be pretty cool as well!  And competent!  AWESOME!

What an answer to prayer that the day would run smoothly!  It did, and how cool, and awesome, and wonderful, and provisionary that God would have two girls show up on the day where I was completely not in the mood to deal with a sick call, and grovel.

I realise that starting every day with prayer is not going to result in a perfect, or wonderful day, but it was still super cool that it happened today.  I am very grateful.

One month to go!

Yesterday, a dear friend of mine pointed out to me that the two of us only have one month of university left.  One month.  And that blew me away.

At first, I was thrilled!  Only one more month of my B.A. studies?  Wooohoo!

And today I find myself back where I was before.  Not that I can't see the finish line any more.  My friend's point made me look up and see that (no more head-down anymore!).  But in light of my impending graduation, I find myself worrying even more.

I am having a very hard time believing that my plan for the next few years may not be God's plan for my next few years.

I want to get into JET.

Maybe God doesn't have that in store for me.

I want to become a teacher.

Maybe God doesn't have that in store for me.

I want to live in New Zealand (still).

Maybe God doesn't have that in store for me.

The list is longer, but I am just barely clinging to the promises God has given me.   And yet, I just reminded another friend (not the one above) that the plans God has for us, although they may not be our plans, these plans give us HOPE and a FUTURE.  And right now, that is what I am holding onto.

Sunshine and Birdsong

Ever since I've come back from my trip to New Zealand, I have moments where I suddenly want nothing more than to be back there, in New Zealand. I'm not certain what triggers these moments, but I'm starting to believe that these moments come when I need to escape/de-stress/a change. One of these moments happened today at work.

It hadn't been a rough day, but I had been worrying about my JET application and imagining the worst-case scenarios (which would make me an emotional wreck if it should occur). I was putting fresh pastries into the pastry case when all of a sudden, all I wanted was to be in New Zealand.

I became so dissatisfied. Here I am stuck, serving coffee to random people who think they need it. I don't think I could stand doing that for another year, should I not get into JET. But then, what else would I do?

Anyway, an hour and some prayers later, I'm standing at the bus stop, still feeling down, but frantically trying to translate 135 lines of Beowulf from Old English into Modern English, when I gradually become aware of the sun shining and warming my face, and of birds singing songs that I only hear in spring. And then, I don't feel down anymore. These things reminded me of the hope that spring represents- the hope I have in Jesus. God knew how down I was feeling, how dissatisfied I was, and how emotional I was. So He sent me what He knew would cheer me in that moment: sunshine and birdsong. He knew this ahead of this day; He knew that I would need it, and so He caused the fog and clouds to vanish, and those birds to choose that particular tree to stop and sing in. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Yes, I will still cry if I don't get into JET, and yes, I still want to live in New Zealand one day, BUT, I have the hope of the plans God has for me and the evidence of his love- both seen through a few "everyday miracles."

To the One who loves me THAT much, Thank You.

Jehovah Jireh

Can I just say how amazing God is? GOD IS AMAZING! He is the ultimate provider. He has already provided me with an answer to pray, and despite my constant unbelief, He is always doing this for me. Lord, help my unbelief.

That's the short version. Here's the story that led up to this:

For many years now, I have wanted to participate in a prestigious program called JET (Japan Exchange Teaching), where I would travel to Japan as an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT) and provide insight in culture, pronunciation, accent etc to Japanese school children. This is important to me, as I would have the opportunity to explore my racial heritage, learn some Japanese, experience independence, save some money to pay off student loans, and get classroom experience for my teaching program at SFU.

The deadline for the application forms is end of November, and I need at least one university professor to provide a letter of reference with my expected date of graduation. However, the professor I was going to approach is on Maternity Leave (congratulations), and I didn't feel that any of the other professors I have (or have had) would be able to provide the reference letter needed.

Anyway, major stress last night and this morning as I'm thinking about this. I also hadn't finished my homework, double ouch! I decided to skip my morning class in order to finish my homework, see the academic advisor, and pray about it. Actually, I was praying about this on the bus all the way to SFU.

I had to keep on reminding myself that God is Provider; He knows who would be able to help me; I have to make God THE plan in my life, not a back-up plan (which is something I recently realised I was doing).

I get to SFU, see the academic advisor (another praise item: I AM DEFINATELY DONE AFTER SPRING 2009!!!!!!!), and I was reading some of the comics a professor had posted on their door, when one of my current professors sees me, and we begin to talk. Turns out, her daughter has done the JET programme, and she would LOVE to do a reference letter for me! I had honestly not thought that this professor would be willing to do this for me (especially since JET is so specific about what they want...picky picky). PRAISE GOD!

The Lord is amazing. I pray that I never forget this moment of realisation of how great, mighty and loving God is, not matter how the application pans out.

Thank you God. I do not doubt you to be Jehovah Jireh.

From the flight

I wrote the following on the flight to O'ahu:

Everything has gone pretty smoothly thus far: take-off was pretty smooth, and even the baby is pretty good considering how young she appears to be. There are a couple of children on board. There was an interesting incident in the boarding gate area with one of them. As I’m approaching the boarding agents, a woman came up beside me, and asked a different attendant if getting something that was left outside of the terminal was possible (I don’t know where exactly). She was with a little girl who appeared to be about six or seven years of age, and the girl was clearly crying: hiccoughs, red face, tears and hugging her arms to her body. I had to board, so I couldn’t find out exactly what was happening or what was lost. Then, as almost everyone has been seated, a PA announcement occurs: “We have a beige teddy bear named Theodore here who is looking for his mommy,” and an arm slowly appears with a teddy bear from the front exit door, and the bear waves a paw. There was a chorus of “Aww” and the little girl from before came running up the aisle with a face of longing to be reunited with her dear toy. Her face on the way back was a mixture of joy (what a beautiful smile) and regret for ever having lost him.

This little event will no doubt be remembered by the girl, and her family for a while. For the rest of the passengers, they probably won’t remember this by the end of their vacation. I however, hope I remember it for a long time, because I learned something from it. I found myself thinking about how we long to be reunited with people who we love, or loved and lost, or people we care about who we have never met. In the same way, our soul longs for our Father and Creator, whether we already know and love Him; whether we once knew Him; and whether we never knew Him. Our soul has always known Him, for He created us, and our soul loves Him because He loves us. I long to be in His Presence, and to Know Him personally.